Hahaha, sighhhh...I texted him to no response. It's a shame, really...I would gladly exchange my body for pizza rills.
Just found my girlfriend's stash of animated Japanese porn
And to think, I actually considered breaking up with her
I mean we've tried to get high on nutmeg, we clearly dont know the definition of "too far"
Woke up with a migrane, threw up blood, then my headache went away. I'm going to convince myself that it was just a bad batch of blood so I can drink again tonight
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Once he past out I measured his penis with my remote.
that beer fried lasagna last night was sooo good
that wasnt beer fried lasagna, you just poured beer on my lasagna
He also gave me two gold stars for sex. On my nipples.
Zombie crawl summary: 5 of 6 friends successfully laid. friend 6 too drunk to care and making out with a whale (not a costume)
If you take a post shower shit just get back in bed. You're better off starting your whole morning all over again.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You better fucking tell me or I'm turning blow job week into go fuck yourself week.
listen I will take literally anything I can get my tiny gay fingers on
I needed to pee, so I climbed out his window
i just drunk stumbled into my home... to figure out that we moved 2 weeks ago..
It was a crazy night: tears were shed, blood was spewed, and bottles were emptied.
Idk, apparently drinking five Four Loko's and trying to fight a mailbox constitutes disorderly conduct.
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