I'm totally gay for Miss Californiaaaaaa
oh sweet, sweet irony
Just woke up. First thing I see: Little brother eating last night's jello shots thinking they're reg jello.
he said he has something really important to tell me but isn't ready yet. It's either that he loves me or has herpes
I'm texting you from across the beer pong table to tell you that the drunk chick you brought over needs to disappear. like now.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We made a bet that we had to talk like Yoda all night at the bars
P.S. It's common courtesy to let the girl your banging know if she's about to walk into the same place your girlfriend is at so she can get her poker face ready
just woke up in a camero on the way to nebraska, i would appreciate it if you answered your phone.
My logic for bringing him home was, he's in law school so odds are he wouldn't kill me.
Go to a building you've never been before and take a shit. It's marvelous
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The only person who DOESN'T think it's a horrible idea to sleep with my ex is my therapist. Obviously I trust her judgement above all others.
Sorry for trying to baptize you last night
You knew the entire thing in Latin I was so impressed
I threw up in a wendys bag in her car. when i went to throw it out the window it exploded all over me. No I don't think there will be a second date.
I woke up and he already had a joint rolled waiting next to the bed. Love.
I wish there were more things in this world as wonderful as string cheese
Surriously
She told us she had powers and that eating tree bark cures the shits.
Randomize