P.S. theres no milk for breakfast, but theres plenty of beer or red wine. you decide.
does my mom think that having an ed hardy lighter is going to get her laid?
Fuck, now I'm not only the other woman, but the pregnant one
He also has a monumental penis. It's unbelieveable. I'm sorry but he's perfect.
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she's throwing a head of lettuce everywhere shouting HEADS UP and trying to get us to play catch with her. i'm scared.
We have a guy passed out in the bathroom with one of our pots. Not sure if he's your friend so I let him be
Nothing like puking into an empty cooler at a red light on the way to get plan b.
Don't let her tell you any different. She licked the balls of my hamster for that $100. It was a group bet. She won.
The woman in the hospital bed next to me just got diagnosed with flea bites on her vag.
Whaaaaaat? No way.
Now a discussion of pigs vs. dog as carrier.
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Whatever it's Canadian jail, it's not like Guatemala or something. It'll be nice and cushy and they'll probably throw him a big bday party with all his friends and strippers
He brought me breakfast in bed after our one night stand. Beer and Cheerios I may come back to this place
I'm playing drinking games with a boy who looks like Liam Hemsworth. I think I'm fine.
People were wondering why I started hanging out with him after high school, the simple answer is now that I don't see his dorky ness everyday I can just focus on his amazing penis.
I've had to take two showers today and it's not even 1 o'clock. Why won't this weekend wash off?
Btw, remind me to tell you about how I had to cancel my crazy wild sex plans with Will b/c my roommate came back from his trip after a day b/c Canada wouldn't let him in. Fucking cockblock.
Actually that's the whole story. You don't have to remind me.
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