i purposely bought her a small sweater. My way of saying, you've gotten fat.
Of course my walk of shame coincided with the alumni marathon on campus. But, I did get a thumbs up from the woman handing out water.
Either I got the clap, or I masturbated with soap while I was sleeping.
He asked the clerk if they sell a penis-shaped brander.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The bouncers kicked us out around 3 so we went to the grocery store flasks in hand and asked them to turn up their music...
Think I just saw your homeless guy on High Street. Did you give him back his crutch?
At least I will not still be rolling when I pick up this animal. Thats a good development in five years
I'm going to need a Jurassic park sized pooper scooper to deal with all this shit last night caused.
All I see when I think of you are dancing penis angels around your head.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Meanwhile she's getting her law degree and I'm dropping Cool Ranch Doritos down my bra because I'm laying down eating on the couch
My life has come to reading articles about dating an ex heroin addict. I'm doing well.
I'm sad that I feel like I need to temporarily change your name in my phone from Smashley until you have the baby and can be unsober with us again.
My v day was great. There's a cum stain in the shape of a handprint on my sheets
I just want an early 40-something dude who is vaguely unencumbered, professionally driven and wants to put me in a ball gag.
Yupp. He's definitely a screamer.
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