Why did I call the Oregon Department of Transportation at 4:30 in the morning, and who did I talk to for three minutes?
2 v-cards in one night. impossible is nothing.
there's a wrestler here in a Ferrari//puma hoodie who is telling girls his win//loss record as a pickup line.
I dunno if we should get high tonight man. its daylight savings. time travel is just too much for me right now.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If you fool around, take the WHITE sweatshirt off of her first. It's mine, and I don't like your cum nearly as much as she does.
Did everyone make it back alive?
You say that with such hope.
Is that a no?
they drunkenly created an obstacle course for the poor hamster and its ball.
Meh. People are people bro. All of us are hairless psychotic apes. Happy 420.
on my way to nyc to take a survey about my sexual activity. if you dont hear from me for a few days, assume they had me committed...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude. The amount of love and appreciation from a house full of stoners when you come home at 4 am with donuts is overwhelming. The kind of love to make Jesus have to work a little harder at his unconditional love thing.
well one of us has to be wrong and it's not going to be me
They sleep with other people as long as there is no oral. Logic and reason were thrown out the window a long time ago with them.
No no no he wouldn't talk to me before I showed his best friend how good I am at twerking
Settled one third of the tab. Am going back for sex. Love you, make friends
You are the ghost of drunk bitches past, present, and future.
Randomize