I can't belive they dont sell booze Sunday mornings. I mean some of us have to work
I had a dream that I had 21 friend requests. it was the best day
FYI angry masturbation is not as cool angry sex
The only word I understood in that whole setence was semen.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
they esentially rejected my mermaid threesome offer:(
i'm not sure when i reached "slam my own hand in the door" status but my half attached fingernail is not grateful.
Take in how we used all the shot glasses in the bar in less than an hour
So I passed out with my boxers on in the hotel jacuzzi at 5am.. The manager who kicked me out was pretty cute so I left my name and number for her at the front desk. I'm giving it a 50/50 she calls.
She's just so happy...and so naked.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Everytime I try to keep track of the amount of people I slept with I always forget about that guy I met on the dc metro, where I woke up to him organizing his Special K and Molly and I was covered in sleeping cats.
Like will they card me for my own whiskey in shampoo bottles?
You got banned for life from a $30 a night motel. What are you doing with your life?
She has no problem going ass to mouth, but won't eat the pizza crust. I don't get it.
Let's get drunk and take out your tonsils tonight
Is it sad that I just pissed sitting down so I didn't have to stop eating doritos?
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