I just had unprotected sex with a stranger. but i did him wearing nothing but my pearls. so its classy.
I just heard a woman call her child a butt face. Repeatedly. He's crying now. I love walmart.
i just used my scantron for my final to make paper shotglasses. i'd say i passed in flying colors.
is 69 when you're sideways or up & down? I was on my back & confused.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
why weren't you at the audition last night?
booty call before role call
so i gave him head in the movie theater last night. thought we were alone til I heard the clapping from the other side of the theater after he'd finished.
Still drunk just puked in the meat cooler tried to clean it up with ham. Its not working
If someone would have told me in preschool that I was going to do him I would have said no
He dodged my hug and greeted me with a fist bump. I slept with him the night before. The only thing worse would have been a greeting by chest bump.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yknow what, if there is a thug life for white bitches, I'm living it. I went out on a date, watched howls moving castle with my brother till he passed out, then went and got some a+ dick, and made it home in time to take my mom to work. Now its 7am, I'm in bed with some free tacos, and when I'm done eating I'm going to sleep. What a great night.
My tuesday consisted of speaking to a federal agent for two hours and watching a roving band of gypsies jump over a fire until 2:30am
Can we make sure camping doesn't turn into forest-orgy?
Lol, last year was UNREAL
Don't forget Giraffe in your car! If we show up in the same outfit without animal heads we're just gonna look weird.
Can I trade you chipotle for a pregnancy test?
I know, dude. If he ends up having a tiny dick, I will literally pack it back into his pants and leave. Not worth the aggravation.
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