Its not alright that i make out with a manican.
I'm in the mood to be taken advantage of ;-)
I've come to the conclusion that if I was an old man, I would perve around in short gym shorts for kicks.
Awesome. Ask her out.
Nope. She's got a detail of ed hardy security around her.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i sold my breathalizer so i could buy weed
He was sitting on the bathroom floor, swirling his finger in the toilet singing the Laguna Beach theme song. I don't know whether to laugh or help him.
Look if 10 am was too early to go barrel tasting the winery would not be open.
That's what you get for dating construction workers you meet in tunnels.
trust me, you don't know shame until you're in a peacock costume getting CPR by random dudes
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You better be making out with him cause we're sitting here with this awkward british girl watching videos of goats singing maroon five
If you send me another picture of a donut on your penis while I'm at work, I may have to slap you With the donut.
We had sex on the tiger blanket while I was wearing my Ukrainian shirt and my ass touched the Ukrainian flag. Happy 25th Ukraine!
You know shits really hit the fan when you start using public bathroom air freshener spray as perfume
what? where are you?
Woke up way too warm in the middle of a spooning sandwich. Was working up a rant about still not wanting a threesome. Then I realized the littlest spoon was the dog. Might need to break up anyway.
Jack and I got in a huge fight at 6am. He fell asleep when I was giving him head so I freaked. We were both black out so I made a memo in my phone reminding me
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