I can’t believe the potential orgy I left behind at Waffle House.
i have my own cum on my nose right now. don't talk to me about "embarrassed".
she just blew up the empty bag of wine and used it as a floatation device.
Found out I slept with someone who likes Pitbull. I really should get to know someone better before I sleep with them.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This is what my life has come to. Like, I may or may not have just stolen pizza from the guy I just hooked up with's fridge when I left...
Hit on in the middle of a Wal-Mart McDonald's by a really awkward nerd. There is not enough nope in the world.
I don't know what part of my sober brain thought it was a good idea to get stoned when I can barely walk with crutches as it is, but that part is stupid.
I was walking back to the dorm and was made fun of for wearing a coat. I'M SORRY I CARE ABOUT MY WELL BEING.
It's all fun and games until you have to pay the bar tab.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My Sexting was not on an AP level
My fuck buddy and I talked about Amelia Bedilia for ten minutes before having sex. I think I'm in love.
I just woke up to my family in the living room watching our security camera tape of me last night talking to a stop sign in our backyard... How the fuck did I get that in the yard?
I'm on a walk of shame carrying YOUR pants. You owe me.
Also fucking you night and morning and then serving your parents breakfast is a bit awkward. And funny. To me.
My sister can't give you a handjob and us still be bros.
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