i barfeds in our rink
A freshman just referred to Home Improvement as 'tim the tool man show'. People born after 1990 are not people.
Dude you picked up her Chihuahua and threatened to kill it yelling "it's not cinco de mayo, bitches"
In case you were wondering, my scare crow is wearing your outfit from last night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Apparently I confessed my love for him last night. Also, my love for cash4gold commercials.
I guess I tried to show you how big my closet was and we ended up eating pickles in my bathroom
trying to line up a DD for St Pats Day. i guarantee i will put out. or puke and pass out. really its 50/50 at this point.
She dumped a fish bowl of alcohol on herself. Just like flash dance.
I found an inside smoking lounge. I'll be here for the next 4 hours. A nice old Canadian lady has befriended me and let me use her lighter. Fuck Hartsfield-Jackson AND this layover. I win.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm a 23 year old adult who just ordered condoms online from Target because I'm still too embarrassed to buy them in the store.
I'm so excited you texted me but I'm way to high to process it
It's like everybody loves Raymond but the total opposite and everyone wants him to die
She's eating hot cheetos out of the bag with chopsticks, Matt, how is she NOT my soulmate?
Listen, you can either give me drugs or an orgasm. You decide.
You made me take you back to Mcdonalds so you could yell at the guy for not giving you enough ketchup packets
I vaguely recall french fries...
You then proceeded to call your mom and tell her you weren't coming home because you were "tripping balls"
Sweet...
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