i just heard one Asian kid say to another, "i bet if i could get into Harvard i could get laid all the time, my brother lost his virginity the first night there."
She definitely looked like a troll, but I had take one for the team. Or at least thats what I keep telling myself
I tipped the hot bartender my entire wallet. Again.
Not going outside. I may melt into a puddle of wine
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The intern claims someone glued plastic eyeballs to his penis last night. He going to show everyone in the conference room at 3pm. There is a $5 cover charge.
I mean it's not my fault he had a floor mat that read "put out or get out". What was I supposed to do?
Just peed in a urinal with another girl. It's that kind of night.
I'm pretty sure when you walk down Broadway and can pick out people you've slept with.. It might be a problem. I'm leaving for rehab tomorrow.
I can tell right now that knowing you will either be really fun or ruin my life
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You're seeing with your vagina, not your eyes.
You kicked me our in the middle of a blizzard with a dead phone. I had to give my watch to a pizza delivery person to take me home. You owe me a gyro too.
But can mardi gras accurately capture the essence of my tiny rage?
Everyone I slept with in 2016 is getting a Christmas card from me. Because I'm an adult.
What's the protocol for doing tequila shots at a baseball game when you're chaperoning for a church group? You know, hypothetically.
Why does my mask smell like doritoes?
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