I haven't been laid since Bush was president.
Hello rock bottom. My name is Jared. Nice to meet you.
which gay bar do you need a ride home from?
we turned dreidel into a drinking game. i kept landing on gimel. im glad we have 7 more nights of this
just got high and bedazzled my bra. other than bleeding from the prongs life is so good.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
1 I really miss college walks of shame 2 I think I may have killed this girls cat
I'm not upset because i like you. I'm upset because I can't use you for the sex anymore.
Hey do you want me to wrap up that Jack in the Box you left in my gutter
First of all, I don't like eggnog. Second of all too much rum is all bad. And thirdly I'm not there to sit in your lap and pretend you are Santa and I've been a bad girl.
That kid i sell weed to just had his mom give him a ride over here she waited in the car while he bought a bag
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have accepted that I am a sexual predator. What I can't accept is the lack of sexual men for me to seduce in this town.
i just found my fake in the snow. LIFE IS AWESOME
But lunch with my dad really just means an hour and a half of him telling me how he's disappointed and how he knows I'm on drugs
He started talking about getting a puppy together. So of course I went down on him later
Why does everyone always assume I'm fucking their boyfriends?
You are fucking her boyfriend.
I'll be honest, this year's Vegas trip will be nothing short of disappointing if there's no repeat of the angry ménage a trios in a closet.
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