I wannas sexs uuuuu
got some bad news about ur virginity. she didnt make it thru the night
I love how all the girls on the plan b commercial wake up alone.. Like me
this morning i checked my reflection in the toilet as i was throwing up to make sure i still had my pearl earrings on
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
How would u feel about transportimg a penis shaped ice luge to nashville?
I'm not proud of how I threatened that 8 year old during drunken laser tag
KETAMINE SUNDAYS ARE SERIOUSLY FUCKING ME UP!
I drew a giraffe.. But she did say that bumped that test up from a 39 to a 40. It's the little things.
I don't care how hot she is, her cat has pissed on me twice.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I slipped in the shower today and broke my lighter..
I just set an alarm for 5 am tomorrow morning titled "Wake and Bake Its Christmas motherfucker"
Apparently mid making out I got up and said "I need to figure out my life" went in the bathroom and threw up for two hours.
They're the one who can profit the most when given the opportunity for blackmail.
At least that's how I've always seen it whenever I've been the Designated Driver.
That simultaneously explains everything and makes me very very terrified of you.
I fucked a French man last night. 5 Times. Ashed my cig in his cactus. That later set on fire while we were having sex.
I just put on the jeans I was wearing last night and pulled 4 baby carrots out of my back pocket....
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