I'm the only one here who isn't hooking up, coming out of the closet, or crying because of one of those 2 things.
and after you realized your puke was bright blue, you started crying hysterically and screaming, "I DON'T WANT TO BE A SMURF!" no more uv blue for you.
i checked my sent messages this morning and i had apparently tried to text the bar, saying "idk what i drank, do you?"
Halloween has nothing on dressing up as as the INS on cinco de mayo
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then you put baby powder on the bottom of your feet and walked to your room so "ladies would follow the footprints"
I wonder if you can snort coke upside down
I feel like I need to get rid of the black eyeliner, glitter, and tequila breath before I to that world poverty conference..
sorry can't make it tonight, greg's getting back from italy. he's had two weeks of carbs and no gym; now's my chance to get myself a piece of that newly-fat, low self-esteemed ass.
They just called to see if he wanted to come in at 2am for overtime. He's trashed. He literally carried on a 10 minute convo with his boss about woodchucks. As in the animal
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I woke up with a russian doll attached to my necklace and a post-it note with "keep babushka safe" written on it. Fuck vodka
You always seem to be able to bribe me with tequila and Mac and cheese. This relationship of ours will cause me health problems someday.
i don't find him as attractive when he's dressed as himself...bring back Indiana jones and I would so fuck him again
If the world ends and i have no vodka please just kill me.
I don't think he liked your vagina hand signal
I just got fed by 3 guys. I love my job.
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