I'm pretty sure that he just gave me the ginger disease
Remember how we wr so drunk last nite we cldnt find whr i shot my load? ...found some of it.
we talked about european history as he fucked me from behind in the shower... i think it was a success
Do you know how awkward it is to call the bar from last night and ask if they found my leggings?
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I just got a booty call..Its 6 pm..a brave attempt to climb the rotation ladder..I like his ambition.
I just dropped macaroni right down my cleavage. For the sake of our future, I'm really banking on this being a turn on for you.
She's been drinking and was roller blading. I'm sure you can do the math
He took a shot, then proceeded to puke into the bucket he was iceing his broken foot in
When I blacked in, I was crying to my father at the swim-up bar that "I was going to win an Oscar." how do you THINK Mexico was?
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When the question of, do you know who's ass has been on the cake you are eating is said... Good or bad party?
Be ready for a dog pile. On your head. With my ass.
Let's not fuck on an air mattress tonight...I'd rather get rug burn.
I kept resisting the urge to yell "2 for 2!" so they could hear me on the other side of the wall.
Because I chose to live vicariously through your uterus and you're letting me down right now.
"Why is there a bottle of Tequila taped to the fan?"
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