I will die if light touches me.
a pedometer??? no beatles?Steve jobs just took a dump in CA and it landed on my heart
did i call you last night crying about tacos and the royal wedding again?
I don't understand but I fell asleep naked holding a tub of cool whip and a boiled egg
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If I don't survive tonitght I would like to thank you for the ricekrispy treats. I am majestic
Took three klonopin and turned all my jeans into jorts. I miss you
Also this is super embarrassing but sorry for licking your chest
He kept telling me that it stood for Sex Utility Vehicle
I decided not to look up the nudes, because I believe that there is a line, and that mocking my old classmate's horrid nudes alone crosses that line.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was in a competition with shots tonight...shots won.
Free stuff before I even put his balls in my mouth like wow great start
I accidentally told my mom I broke my drug nail this weekend
It was extremely weird and uncomfortable mid blow job she looks up and says " tell me Simon Cowell makes your dick hard"
If y'all wanna know how far the apple fell from the tree I'm sexting during Easter service. Mom would be so proud 😳
I woke up with a bunch of jolly ranchers and an eight ball in my purse. Successful
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