Don't feel obligated to get back to me but I think I just fell in love with a middle aged waitress at the Dennys in waco. She's used but in good condition.
we talked about european history as he fucked me from behind in the shower... i think it was a success
He went soft
Wait. During?
Yeah, he was IN. MY. MOUTH.
im trying to make cookies in the george foreman
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Hey man, sorry I chased you around the house with a small table.
Haha I will however wear glass and and draw a lightning bolt scar if you want to have sex that way, and that can be the only time you can call me Harry.
God you people are gross. Come collect your unconscious friend.
Just doin' what I do best: sitting in a stall in the class building's bathroom, pondering life and exploring deep, dark corners of the internet before class.
I've used my house key more to do bumps of coke than I've used it to get in my house.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Mark just took 50mg Viagra. Tonight should be interesting for the neighbors.
I have enough bourbon in me to put Justin's cat in the dishwasher.
a guy just walked through our campsite, crouched down by the truck, screamed "ACID ONLY LASTS FOR 8 HOURS RIGHT?!", then ran off into the bushes
I accidentally sent a snap of my puss with the Republican filter... Totally killed his boner
Of course I'm watching space shows while stoned on the science channel. Why would I want to learn while not baked out of my skull?
When you're as high as I am right now brushing your teeth is both magical and fucking terrifying
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