Pussy?
how
Wat do u mean how?
Just so you know, each of my boobs fits perfectly in a martini glass.
The remote chance that I may get a blowjob is about the only reason I have a shower every day.
She stared for a good 10 seconds before calling my dick "awe-inspiring", and then proceded to give me blueballs. All in all the ego boost made my night break even
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my head hurts. i need an adult
and not like a cool parent adult. like a full fledged party pooper grandparent adult
If I was gonna be at your campus for halloween weekend, I'd dress up as the masked horny fairy and give out condoms. I'm so thoughtful.
Just visited the liquor store.... for the 4th time today. shits gonna get weird
Am I not being subtle enough by giving him a rainbow striped bong, during PRIDE MONTH?
We just left the shoe. An app card to Fridays. $25 to santoras and a note that said sorry we were drunk on the front doorstep of the strip club
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He's two decades older than you. Remember how you said you wish you lived in the 70s? HE DID.
He woke me up holding a gallon of apple juice and a shot glass...
I mean I made my therapist laugh so hard she cried....so yes, my life is literally a joke to everyone
Foreplay went from me being a bank teller and him a customer to us actually having to go to the bank so we would make rent
He's nice and all but I think I rather masturbate my way to happiness instead.
After we had sex he went to the kitchen, came back with a bag of funyuns and ate them buck ass naked in his bedroom doorway. Had no idea how to react to that one.
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