Apparently throwing up on his dick didnt convince him to stay away . . . whats the most indirect way of saying "im just going to continue avoiding you"?
This is getting serious. I keep forgetting what's in my vagina.
she asked if she could keep her bee antennas on during her mugshot. i love halloween.
Giving the kids Children's Claritin and calling it candy.....Is it setting them up for drug abuse later?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Rubbed one out while on hold to buy tickets to Disneyland. Feel simultaneously like a freak and strangely productive.
cashier rang me up and said, "white people are funny." like i'm NOT the only white person to buy just lettuce & 40 glow sticks
Some old truck driver just made me smell his beard I hope tonight turns out better
Your cat is quite the conversationalist after some tequila and shrooms
I realized after pounding back 151 and head banging into each other to "the drop" of that dub step song, that we weren't meant to have boyfriends at this point in time.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My last google search is "how to build a flamethrower"
I made a wizard staff out of Keystone light... I am therefore the smoothest wizard in all of our university's history.
I don't think I will ever be as happy about anything as this man next to me on the bus eating Taco Bell.
So as a result of a tragic manscaping accident I've had to shave all the hair off of my legs. The result is... not great
Note to self: Never spend $8 on a liter of rum again
Being severely attracted to someone you find is your cousin just made my list of top 10 worst feelings
Randomize