I have been standing totally still for the past 6 minutes because I was convinced my foot was tied to the ground. It turns out it was a string of hair strewn across my foot
just bought a 30 and sold it for $2 a can to some dumb ass high school kids. now lets buy two and get really drunk
My TA just asked me why I was late to class. How do I say because I was having the best orgasm of my life in Arabic?
I brought him to this party even though we're not together anymore because we made a bet on who would have sex first, and it is a sausage fest up in here.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the problem with having sex for lunch when its 98 degrees outside is that I can't tell if its sweat or semen running down my leg as I walk back in the office
My halloween constume SCREAMS "Hey i just got done with a shitty relationship and I'm DTF"
Maybe it was silver. I don't know. I was drunk sifting through my dogs vomit.
It was one of those "wake up holding a random metal flower" kind of nights.
Are some dicks heavier than others? Random question as I'm feeling mine.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just imagined you going baby-crazy and trying to shove him up into your uterus. Yes, I'm aware he's 7 years old.
Got serenaded to on the streets of Denver...the song was about a young banana that made really big decisions, got stds, and joined a gang. I think I like Colorado
Oh ya, I forgot to tell you, last night I woke up to the sound of you peeing on the floor next to the fridge, didn't remember until now. Have fun at Dayton!
I'm pretty sure that's why we have such good sex because we are secretly trying to kill each other
I support your vibrator fueled lifestyle.
I feel like I might be the only person I know who eats bundles of radishes in-between orgasms from their vibrator.
Randomize