so i woke up to her 8 year old asking for a bowl of cereal...
Exactly. I don't do penetration on the first date. Blowjobs however are perfectly acceptable.
I encourage the greeting beej. It determines if the dick is worth keeping around.
Yeah, it was all fun and games until I realized that it wasn't my tent, and I had no idea who those people were
Im about to shotgun a beer using my mother's knitting needles. home sweet home.
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He went all Bachlorette on me.. "I just want to guard and protect your heart" bullshit
Just induced vomiting to put out a carpet fire.
Everyone is cheering
Is this like a "I'm taking you out to dinner and treating you with respect" kind of date, or is this a "I'm gonna fill you with alcohol and cheese and stuff my dick in your anus" kind of date?
That chick went from zero to shitshow in only 6 shots.
Dude best one night stand i woke she was cleaning our fridge while waiting for the cab to show
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Lets play hurricane shelter. And the shelter is my bed, and we forgot our clothes.
I put you to bed and you would not go unless I let you sleep with the vodka
I wonder how your parents would feel if the scarf they gave me for Christmas is mainly being used for a blindfold during sex...
I should have known when she said it would be "fun" we'd end up in the hospital
So the same great-aunt that told me to freeze my eggs for procreation just told me that I should strut around the dance floor b/c I'd get picked up.
I need to meet your family.
That’s the third time this month he’s hooked up with a girl by telling her it’s his bachelor party, and he’s not even dating a chick let alone engaged.
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