Reasons why i shouldn't be drunk and upset: i'm going to a boy's
The more I sober up, the more sick I am/realize how weird dancing around a wine bottle was
also: i found my "nug jug", actually the baby did, but either way it got returned to its rightful owner
he's measuring my pool to see how much jello powder he needs. He got paid today.
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The only thought that went through my head was "that would be an absolute disaster" so of course I said yes
Your little brother is asking me for an "expert opinion" on his dick size.
It was like a square peg in a round hole... I've never seen one shaped like a stick of butter...
So... In conclusion, do I bring my vibrator and risk not only having it getting taken out at security, but also exposing my dad to my neon green vibrator, or just leave it here?
oh. oh my god. i just had lunch with my mom with semen still on my face.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Im not sure if the cops that just came are strippers or actually cops
he told me his feelings for me AFTER sex, so that means he meant it right?
she passed out standing next to the car. her head hit the door so hard the alarm went off. she instantly snapped out of it and started sprinting away
Although, she is an extremely cool person. She put the "buddy" in "fuck buddy." And I mean that in the most respectful way possible.
He told his wife he was too old to pretend to be straight. She tried to argue. He walked two tables over and was like this is my highschool sweetheart and he's an excellent fuck, we're running away together. It was epic.
We should write a country song: “Blacked Out on a Sunday”
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