also i tucked his toothbrush in my shirt. why? i dont know.
In The Air Tonight was playing in the dentist's office. Had to stop the cleaner to do the drums.
Gentleman, we have a new medal category - number of women per day in apartment WITHOUT FURNITURE
had a guy just try to take his underwear off in the middle of the bar w o taking his pants off. That kind of Sunday afternoon
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What's bad is when she said "what hobo did you steal this dick from?"
Didn't get to fuck her. Had to leave abruptly through window. Explain later.
He referred to his cock as "The cock" like it was third party or something.
WHY DO YOU ALWAYS PUT THE PLUG IN THE SINK BEFORE YOU PUKE IN IT
Haha...we lost by one cup to a guy w shitty facial hair. What makes me most mad abt the loss is that I could grow a better beard on my vag.
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Friends don't let friends drunk sleep in the dorm common room
I'd tell u there's strippers to make you get here faster, but that would be a blatant lie... There's strippers here.
Btw his name is Woody. I must be really drunk to think this is a good situation
good news: i got laid. bad news: by your boyfriend
What the hell happened to the sandwich meat I just bought?
After you smoked, you made 8 ham sandwiches.
Guess that explains the mysterious disappearance of the bread...
let your parents know i'm sorry i ran around the house pretending their metal detector was a "booze detector"
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