you alive?
ya, the episode of maury where people are afraid of things are on, i had to keep livin
so I guess it's not okay to mix vodka and ..everything and then proceed to offer a lap dance to ...everyone.
i DID NOT walk around with my knees bent and my hands behind my back with long spandex and underarmour pretending to be Apollo Ono
he found you with your pants down, trying to straddle the urinal. no one should have to see their sister like that. ever.
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I think I've just evolved into some kind of vodka fueled monster
I fell off my bed and busted open my chin on the prisoner of azkaban. Somehow missed the almost empty Jose handle next to it. So guess what I was doing last night?
Can you think of a sexual word rhyming with snorkel?
He let me finish eating my sandwich while I sat his face. I think I'm in love with this little eager beaver.
I'm currently sitting beside my brother who is taking a bath and feeding him nachos while he covers his genitals. If that's not sibling bonding then I don't know what is
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Weird, Jen didn't know mixers were solely for coloring purposes. Don't call me an alcoholic because you're uneducated
at one point while they were drilling into my jaw I just remember thinking "will I ever be able to suck dick again"
Damn victory sex feels great
someone at the bars was yelling at the bouncer to let him in because he "just passed through the 7 levels of the candy cane forrest" soulmate?
go meet him and give him your number.
So I forgot to ask, how was that bartender you slept with two weeks ago?
Google chlamydia.
its liver damage thursday
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