Seriously dude, you need to stop beating off to the ellen show, it's just weird.
after he passed out we removed everything electronic from his room, stuck in some old books and an ancient typewriter from goodwill. for 20 min. we had him convinced he'd drunk himself backward in time.
Dude, we took our shirts off and set our chest hair on fire. That's a low point.
You raise a valid concern
Someone is gonna learn how to start an IV in the morning
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Tinkerbell just flew up to me and tickled my balls. What the fuck did we smoke?
I would like to apologize once again for rubbing your thigh with my hands and face for a very long time last night.
I put on slutty clothes under my normal clothes, im like fucking super slutwoman
Best superhero ever to exist
I just traded 5 cigarettes for a sandwich on they greyhound.You owe me 5 cigarettes. I told you I would get hungry.
You ran out of his house yelling "I got the goods!" Then you pulled toilet paper rolls out from under your shirt.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He flew in from NY last night. We had sex in the back of my car in the airport parking lot and then he fed me fresh Babka (from Breads Bakery) as I drove him home. I can't decide if I love him or Babka more.
they gave me money. the money smells like weed. also they gave me weed
Unless your name is actually "Ticfj" like my phone says, I have no idea who you are...
She made me watch three musicals and then told me she was too tired for me to stay over. I think I'm being punished but I have no clue what I did.
Can you cover for me after lunch? I’ve never seen a guy who cums as much as my new Side Dick so now I need to clean the house before my husband gets home
I do very much feel like vomiting. and I have no idea where that lighter came from. thank you for coming to my TED Talk.
Randomize