i wish swine flu would become a total pandemic so we cld be rid of all the people that are complaining about it
I just realized I had sex more when i looked like a fat elton john. Fuck my life.
I can't be drunk. Sober yes. Drunk no. Spoonfuls
It seems like every guy I've hooked up with all end up hanging out together, its like a cult.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just hooked up with the fireman who put out the quesadilla fiasco last tuesday.
I am nonfunctional stoned. I had to ask ben to put me somewhere away from all the people I'm sitting on someones bed watching a wall. Not alright. Should not have come.
I think its safe to assume that the 40yr old undergraduate with purple and pink in her hair and a tattoo of the eiffel tower above her ass crack has never actually been to Paris...
It's okay. My lingerie drawer is skanky enough for the two of us. Even across borders.
My mascara kind of smells like tequila to me...Is this my body crying for help or asking for a shot?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Gold rum. Strong marijuana. Jabba the Hut in stilettos. Deep thigh bruise. Yes, thal all happened. Sorry dude.
He may only be 25% black, but after that sexual experience I am 100% never going back.
In related news... Actually, nope. I don't have any orgy-related news. You win.
How many drinks/blunt hits do you think I could get if I wore an "it's my birthday" shirt
So far I've taken two naps, went out and bought a pizza called the Hipster, and in 15 min I'm gonna make a snow angel. Conquering Snowlandia. How bout you?
I'm not the kind of girl that sleeps with someone else's boyfriend. But I'm getting waxed just in case I change my mind...
Randomize