The world would be so much better with thought bubbles.
dear vagina, thank you for making it so goddamn hard to get pregnant. i love you.
I can hear the condescending tone from the atm when it asks if $3 is all I would like to deposit
regular news: took many shots of tequila.....bad news: woke up with a toothbrush and vagisil next to me.....good news: clean as a whistle
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just want him to slap me with his dick and call it love
Haha pretty bummed I didn't stay night yesterday after the bj fest you described
Have you ever chugged beers in the hospital parking garage with your mom?
He walks in. We each have a tiki torch. We say, the tribe has spoken. We put his out and then stab him with it.
Actually it's really just going to be me drunk in your living room swinging from a pole on a tuesday morning.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Come eat Chinese buffet and watch us trip on acid. It'll be fun.
well it was naive of you to actually think you're the only bday sex he had lined up for him today. I'm just suprised he actually had a line forming outside of his room
I wish drug dealers had sales for the holidays
Can I say it was a great night out of town? Fucking my co-worker in the hotel bed while my best friend is fucking his friend on the floor and a random guy is laying in the other bed meanwhile we are all passing a joint back and forth
He really is. Owns his own house and has more than one towel!
FINE I guess I'll just drink regular coke like a PLEBIAN.
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