He threw up over the balcony and blamed it on an invisible garden gnome.
I think I'm on the verge of a really slutty period in my life
From the trajectory of the puke, I must have fallen off the top bunk while trying to vomit, due to the dented bucket, ruined carpet, and bruised dignity I now own.
After 2 hrs of driving around looking for him, we just found him sleeping in the bed of my truck with the cover closed, cuddling with the spare tire.
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Drinking heavily at 3pm and about to rescue a 30lb street turtle. Dont even bother attempting to rise to this level bitch
He has a lot of emotional energy invested in your vagina.
also karaoke with swedish 7yr old and drunk 50yr old = best idea ever
You woke up, mumbled something about forgetting to lock the truck at work, slapped my ass, then passed out again...
Are you okay?
I went home with a 38 year old guy in a kilt, do I look okay!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Plus idk what to say. Like hello dapper gentleman will you pursue me in a midnight hangout where I can be choked
It's true. There would need to be A LOT of data collection. Aka, dick-catching. I volunteer as tribute.
Honestly, I want an afternoon of mild abuse, mixed with face fucking and general molestation that turns in love making, laughter and cinnamon toast crunch naked in bed.
Nothing showshows the government the middle finger more than spending your tax refund on drugs
Bahahah I should. I’m the free range drunk girl who should clearly not be free range because who knows what kind of fuckery I would get into
And I mentioned the burning debate about your circumcision in my Christmas card to your mom.
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