well I washed the adderal like an idiot. the capsules broke but the beads inside were intact. so my landlady came in and caught me licking the dryer lint screen
i dont need a football game to get drunk and yell at my tv
its 9am and we're in an escalade. I have no shoes and my dress is on backwards. I feel like we're the morning after a rap video
I just witnessed Grandma making her infamous daiquiris. Extraordinary.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This wouldn't happen so much if fat girls would just stop being so damn easy.
And im sorry for wishing your girlfriend gets genital warts.
I can't even type what I drank. I'll throw up
Finding a keg in our kitchen would be like god personally high fiving each of us.
you are like the bill nye of illicit activities
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Stealing, and booze. If only you added meaningless sex with random people you would have wrapped all your life passions together
Had a slight melanoma scare this morning. Spoiler alert, it was Nutella.
I think I swiped left on my soulmate
I need you to teach me how to be roommates with somebody I'm not fucking.
who says I'm not relevant to the kids today? Just had snapchat sex, blows the roof off aim cyber sex
I would rather contract a disease that would eat me from the inside out and make me suffer painfully while it slowly killed me than to put myself through the 20 minutes of agony that is having sex with you ever ever again.
I think you're talking dirty but I'm not sure???
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