My cat gives me a boner
They threw me out of the bar because I was arguing business ethics with the owner of th bar
We discussed our relationship status. We're dating exclusively. And the conversation was followed by him saying "C'mon baby, let's make you orgasm!" .....I'm gonna marry him.
whats the proper etiquette for returning a closet door to a random girl you met and do not know her name?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You guys seriously fuck to bieber? That's embarrassing...
he called me from germany to tell me about all the gummy bears he bought...i'm doubting his sobriety
I didn't plan on sleeping with him until he told me his mom is deaf.. Then I felt bad.
I'm so in the Halloween spirit, I zombified my all of my nudes on my phone. Tell me this isn't creative.
Just know I'm having fun but I still have my motor functions.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You will never truly trust yourself until you have shaved your armpits, legs, and vagina in the dark.
Kyle's mobile fuck service..... Kinda has a nice ring to it don't you think??
Apparently I blacked out and started wrestling with some dude last night. Just found out I might have dislocated his shoulder. Best part: he still wants to bone me
Instead of texting me to come over, she just sends me a batman symbol.
I don't care if she's a booty call. Marry her.
he was really really nice, and I did coke off of his dong that night too
I was totes going to lose it to him last night, but I cried and we ate mexican food instead.
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