Mr ***** is in bed with his super hot wife giving her 18 inches of pleasure
well I washed the adderal like an idiot. the capsules broke but the beads inside were intact. so my landlady came in and caught me licking the dryer lint screen
He was such a tease, he pulled out his dick, let me touch it then put it away
Had sex on a washing machine in a pool of beer. Can you say success.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Earned the respect of a group of freshman by chugging Das Boot while hanging out a window and lost it shortly after by wrecking a clown bike into them.
I know. My only sports are biking to buy drugs and running from the police.
I hope there's a soldier with a Bedazzler just going to town right now.
I mean, I gave him a hand job on the Pearl Harbor tour bus; I don't know what the fuck else he wants out of this "relationship"
Im pretty sure by the fifth subway ride after going in circles the four times prior, we all just accepted that we werent making the concert and should instead enjoy our magical weed and tequila laced journey.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We're only going to be this young and this cute but for so long. And how often is it that a pack of Albanian law students is in your house?!
You can't die you're my only democrat family member
I used the line "you don't have enough pillows". Then left. Thought you should know.
Dad danced on top of the bar with me last night. And has a video of me doing a beer bong.
He is married, and has a regrettably large penis. I need to find another one right away to get myself out of this mess.
How big does a penis have to be before it becomes regrettably so?
i think i just naturally attract stoners
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