is it considered a "problem" when you find a pickle slice in your bed in the morning or is it like a "super-awesome bonus"?
in retrospect, sexting while high was a mistake - I meant to say "I'll fuck you stupid, baby" but of course I said "I'll fuck your stupid baby"
ps... at the end of one of the videos you yell "let's do the eiffel tower again.. i'll be in the middle!" .. i almost died lolol
My idea of sleeping together involves doing the Humpty Hump. Her idea of sleeping together focused more on being fully clothed on the opposite sides of a king sized bed.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She was perfectly content just sitting in the middle of everyone blowing bubbles in the air.
basically at this point ill snort whatever you put in front of me and just hope
Worst relationship ever. Keep in mind I've dated two married chicks and a Mormon.
Sex should always be followed by Chinese food in bed.
I put xanax in the cake batter
Did you really? It all makes sense now.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I spent half an hours grinding with a drunk Harry Potter cosplayer at the con rave. Pretty sure I felt his wand.
I just got caught impersonating a t-Rex by my boss. Sadly he wasn't fazed by my behavior and acted like it was normal.
He just kept mumbling that he was too drunk for society and then he peed in a bush
You got your ass kicked outside KFC on Tuesday
Go have sex with him right now! Drunk sex is the best sex.
I know but these gold fish are so much better
Slowly dying because of my period and my phone is mocking me because I have 69% battery
Randomize