So she farted while we were having sex but I was afraid she would stop because she was emberessed so i just went ahead and took the blame and apologized
just apologized to a random stranger while waiting in line for coffee. last night was that drunk
My cha cha got a haircut
thank god. going down on you was like chewing on astroturf
she's telling me all about the love triangles of her sims. you tell me how it's going.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
couldnt find a condom. used a surgical glove instead. actually worked and the sex was great. thanks nursing school
What's the protocol on showing a video of me sucking the life out of my ex in order to prove beyond a doubt that I give great head???
Just had a dream about an abnormally large bottle of tequila. No more depressed drinking for me.
On my way home I stopped at target and bought beer and galoshes. I am a planner.
Ps, did you know if you google "drunk jenga", you're the first image that shows up?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I dunno what he did but it both burns and feels amazing to pee
You left your underwear in a sandwich bag on my kitchen counter.
Can you have a quarter life crisis another time? I'm trying to masterbate.
But can mardi gras accurately capture the essence of my tiny rage?
I feel like him using the excuse "I'm not a fan of lying" to stop me from sleeping around is hypocritical since he's cheating on his wife with me.
R.I.P my virginity. TOD 12:37pm
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