We will have to stop frequently for food, stretching legs, interesting things on the side of the road, and sex. So you might as well eat.
if you could put a roof over IU campus it would be the biggest whorehouse in the nation
Getting blown during the Cavs game doesn't make it any less depressing.
I didn't think moms care packages could get better than greygoose, weed & double stuffed oreos, but she just snet me a chocolate bar full of mushrooms.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I five year old is judging me because I just opened a bottle of Sam Adams with my teeth before 8am
Just had an old man tip me two dollars and say "here put this in your baby fund, you'll have a baby someday" I swear this is gods way of saying GET ON BIRTH CONTROL NOW!
If I have to masturbate more than twice a week you fail as a fuck buddy. Just so you know...................you failed
This election needs to be over, im tired of girls asking who im going to vote for mid hookup
GO AHEAD, BITCH, GLARE AT MY WAFFLE ONE MORE TIME. I WILL FUCK YOU UP.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And then we can spend New Year's Day sprawled across the tiles watching greys anatomy and puking into the bushes over the balcony. It'll be great
I feel like I was dropped out of a helicopter. Through the propeller.
Fell asleep with Kristen and woke up with Sarah. It's official, vacation has begun.
The bartender has no bra and is giving out free shots. Call mom I'm getting married.
I'm chasing my vodka with snickers.
I was grinding with girl while I was eating french fries, and she turned around to hook up with me. She ate my fries.
Randomize