i just google searched 'can you pop your ovary'
I got vodka in my stocking. Having an alcoholic mom has paid off.
You were outside the bathroom the gay guy was puking in, screaming "IT GETS BETTER!" over and over again. Good message, poor execution.
Advice for you. Never grate cheese on your counter then not cleanup the scraps, then have your bf over and endup having sex on the counter. Theres literally cheese melted in and around my ass.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just got escorted to my 7:45 class by an old woman because I was too hungover to not realize I was four floors too high.
She was drunk and naked on our couch, sweating and masterbating to SNL. We made eye contact and she didn't even stop. It's new-roommate-o-clock
I like to think it's an accomplishment that I can relate my life to a T-pain song
You should make us a hot pocket to split while I go throw up.
Blowing lines in the bathroom and trying to get into the mindset of someone who wants to be at work for 12 hours
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
im in DESPERATE NEED OF A COMPANION RIGHT NOW I’M MOTHER FUCKING TRIPPING SOLID GOLD BALLS
I should probably add her on Facebook for as much as I cheat off her in Physics, huh?
He waved at a guy who drove by while we were having sex in the back of a rental car in a hospital parking garage prior to visiting family. Almost made me feel guilty but I liked it too much.
Don't get mad at me now, you have my car and all the doughnuts
Stop making fun of my hookups!
Stop getting hookups that I can make fun of!
We met behind our asshole boss's back with the intent to oust him from the company. If this revolution is a success, bring nachoes.
Randomize