I just wanted to draw pictures of limp wieners on peoples doors and smash pictures of palm trees. That's it.
I GPSed you we're an hour and 14min away from each other
and it's going to stay that way
Just got the test results back. All clean, Now whose an idiot for going bareback in South America for 3 months straight.
I'm sitting on the patient chair, waiting for my vagina to be violated & "i don't want to miss a thing" has been playing on repeat. WHY IS THIS HAPPENING TO ME.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
could you please explain to me why my jumper cables are on my bedroom floor?
Okay the common myth about putting tampons in you nostrils for a nose bleed is busted. It just starts coming out through your throat.
All i know if I'm throwing uo into a bag with a smiley facE on it right now and this is not a smileuy face time right nowe
I just found a plastic cup with panties inside of it. Let's play CSI.
Would it be weird to tell him that on his b'day he's dressing up and we're having weird Jesus sex?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just to let you know... If you ever want to get me a gift, the One Direction perfume comes out soon....... It's called Our Moment. It's an appropriate gift for a 25 year old woman.
I'm going as your incestuous sister. If thats not the perfect winglady I don't know what is.
He passed out before we could have sex. I had no choice but to use his boner to hold my onion rings.
I'm pretty sure I have PMS because I almost just cried about not being able to find a place that gives acrobat classes here.
Thanks for being my best friend so I can use you as an alibi to my family while I'm out getting some dick in my face.
He’s over 6 feet has amazing posture and went to Harvard and has an awesome job and a great dick and loves Jesus and is an organ donor
Is this the guy you have listed as free food in your phone
Noooo he’s listed as free food #5
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