dude i've broken up a marriage, I think I can handle a simple engagement.
Fuck now we have to have sex
What?
In a bet, need to win
I'm up to 9 pic of different guys. I need 4 more boys and each one of the 13 to submit 3 additional pics. I wanna make a penis deck of cards.
Show him your tits if he says no
They're not help-me-out-of-jams tits. They're I-fake-people-into-thinking-they-look-good tits.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
people in the room actually applauded when we discovered you had the ability to somehow throw up on your own back
I just woke up in bed, rolled over, and found a whole pizza.
this is the second day in a row.
Oh. Yeah. It's the same pizza then.
HEY. That drawer full of booze in my dorm room also has aspirin and Tums in it. So don't tell me I don't care about health.
I can officially say I had a blunt rolled on my ass
You made her yell her own name while you were fucking so that you would remember it in the morning.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I tried to order champagne at IHOP last night
He's gonna do me a solid for doing her a solid. It's like pay it foward. But with sex.
If you don't believe in my fighting skills, I don't know if we can be together
the man at taco bell in the drive thru window tried to sell me his mix tape
his single is called “stick some holes in it”
I hope you know, that by sending me a cat meme back, you've entered in a cat picture battle; which never has an end in sight.
The duel has begun.
I couldn’t resist. He had a camouflage condom. You know I love a man in a uniform
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