So he flipped me over and suddenly went limp then told me he was thinking about his ex.
so you punched his junk, right?
He was putting purell on my boobs saying "they need to be clean for later." He hadn't had a drink all night
Just got arrested at PF changs. Happy New year, China
He just found another high guy at wal-mart. There now friends. His friend is eating a cupcake
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just had such a rough shit, don't stop believin had to be played
Let me stew on this while im plucking my nipple hairs and showering.
Out of desperation, I used the leftover sauce from my goat masala as a mixer for vodka shots.
I feel like you're the reason public nudity is illegal and generally frowned upon in society
Hey sorry for calling you so much last night. I mixed your number with the pizza guys, and he was running late
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I almost forgot to feel shameful, if that answers your question.
Babe, Have you see my pants?
Try Jay street in Brooklyn.. that's where I last remember seeing them.
Quick question, did I crash teeth with you when I snogged you, or did I headbutt something between the car and the bed last night?
I'm smoking and watching the Muppets Treasure Island. Where are you?
Something about that statement reminds me just how much of a role model you are, sis.
You told me not to tell you found out you're pregnant..
Remember the Giant sandworm from the movie Dune? Well that's about how big his dick is. No bulshit.
Randomize