one might say we're banned from that church
I think the best way to start out any day is to watch 80's music videos. It's like visual wheaties.
he had to chose between the booze and condoms
what did he choose?
the booze, then looked at me and said, plan b is free right?
it wasnt like "sexy" or whatever. like...she was smiling just standing there butt ass naked
tasteful.
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Well if he truly loves me he will just have to accept my flaws. And that includes a tequila dependency and borderline lesbianism.
The closest thing to a sext that you will ever receive from me is a picture of pepperonis on Greg's asscheeks, clenching.
We're having Wednesday-night goat-night at the bar.
It's hard to explain...
I'm gonna give the beer pong table a viking pyre funeral at the bon fire.
he's like a horny 3rd grader on cocaine. he needs a leash
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I don't know. I wanna do you but I also want a cheeseburger.
Omg my butt feels so much better. Those suppositories are magic. It feels like Jesus fingered me in my sleep.
I just gave him road head. He came in the Taco Bell drive thru which seems pretty typical for my life.
Cocaine and dance dance revolution for 4 hours. I consider last night a success.
You know your late night booty call was a huge fail when you go back to your car after it's over, and it's still warm.
You know. You being in a happy healthy relationship is REALLLYY cutting into our drinking alone together time.
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