best part, i was ridiculous and none of them were judging me bc they didn't want my vagina. it was like i was a pretty painting
Just found out that I was singing john legend songs as I threw up last night. Quality.
I've decided to turn your sobriety into a reason for me to be able to drink more.
can you go into shock from having too many orgasms? i think i went into shock.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's raining beautiful colors and I don't know what the fuck is going on
I now have a GPA requirement for guys I hookup with more than once.
I just stood on my roof naked pouring vodka onto my garden. sweet dreams
My phone keeps autocorrecting to the "st. Natty's Day Parade" and I'm completely okay with that
Literally if she wants to make a big deal, I'd rather have shit smeared on my face.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Some guy just hit on me and then said, well you look too young to ride the emotional roller coaster and guestured to his dick.
Unless he's under 18, in which case you put him back where you found him this instant.
What could go wrong? i could have a mental breakdown with a bottle of champagne hand cuffed to a frat bro
Just paid for my STD meds using a giftcard I got for Christmas. Thanks mom.
I think I deserve an award for the breakup text I sent him. Like a pulitzer prize or a donut or something.
I have to touch the horse lube. :-(
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