ok i said sorry. what else do you want?
100 blowjobs
Its like fucking yourself in the head with a weed strapon
I'll sleep on the bed... The couch is now designated banging area. Any banging performed outside of that area will be subject to fines of cleaning up stains.
I've been living off of popsicles and broth.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He told me i had to sleep under his bed. He said it would be my castle.
Front seat of an Escalade in a limo-service parking lot. That is all.
The best part about this city is obvious. Someone saw me crouching by a bar pissing in my leftover Panera bread bowl and they just winked.
So I totally just used margarita salt for a body scrub.
Some guy just ordered at Cosmo and 2 screwdrivers in the sky club at 8:30 am. I'm starting to feel a lot better about my alcoholism
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I manage to fit my wine bottle in my koozie and the rest is history
My previously white toilet seat is now hot pink. I'm not sure why or how but I know it's your fault.
If he cant deal with my insomnia and sex drive I really feel sorry for his child and ex fiance. Adulthood breakups are depressing.
He's not put together enough to have that big of a dick
Damn. Looks like nobody I know is doing anything interesting. Guess it's another slut-it-up-with-strangers sort of night.
not only did he puke in his mouth and hold it.. He also sneezed while doing this
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