I may not go down in history, but i will definitely go down on your little sister.
Tell her she's as useless as a condom.
You probably shouldn't be hiding under someones bed listening to them get head
Just whacked off in the middle of writing a paper, gave me great ideas. Note, should do this more often.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i don't think it's normal to still be missing spring break.
I was going to text him and apologize but I didn't want him to think that meant I approved of him being my niece's booty call.
His penis makes me feel like a mystic dragon sliding down a turbo slide covered in white gumdrops and sour cashews
Same.
one renamed every person in my phone 'I lpvw tewqils', so it would really help me out if you could text me your name. Happy sunday!
I think it says something about my sobriety when I don't notice a Taco Bell wrapper stuck to my ass until I'm in the shower...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm the man of the house if we're referring to livers.
You went in the back with her.. And honestly I couldn't tell her neck from her tits man..
I can't open my mouth wide enough to make full use of this snapchate update
Ugh it's 2016, why can't our bodies just shed fat on their own
One of your 'guests' left her bra in the kitchen.
Dude, does it look like any of the women I bring home wear bras?
I have to lie to someone and move five gallons of fermenting alcohol across campus but after that i'll hit you up 4 sho
Randomize