Alls I know is that his gf looked like Beyonce and he looked like Babar
just used a paint mixing cup as a shot glass. thank u art school.
They call it the Collection Couch because all 4 room mates have slept with at least 3 different girls on it. He tried to seal the deal with "would you like to be number 14?"
And sadly I did.
I remember your 21st ending with me driving you home while you insisted making bicycle signals out the car window.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We eventually had to ration the melon vodka. 10 pushups per shot. THATS why my arms hurt
I wish we knew morse code and could knock to each other through the wall
My dick was almost in plain McDonald's sight
The number of males in the usa getting circumsized are decreasing. Keep this in mind when we become cougars
SHE BROUGHT HER PARROT TO THE PARTY. IT SQUAWKS EVERY TIME SOMEONE VOMITS LIKE 'PARTY FOUL SQUAWKKKKKK'
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He wanted me to come over on Christmas...inviting your fuck buddy over for the holidays is just something you don't do.
Id prob hit it, but i instagram edited her picture to make her look better. Ha. She should fuck me just for that.
He literally ejaculated and I hit Uber
I'm going to come in the middle of the night and attack you with spoons
My boss is paying me to come clean his house in a maid outfit and told me not to tell anyone....this is shady as fuck but I need the money
I'm just too horny to handle empty house
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