Heyy I kind of wanted to apologize and excuse myself for last night. I feel like that was a little much. I just met you. That's why I don't like tequila. Haha
You finger a girl once and she thinks she loves you. I'm going back to boys. Lesbians are needy.
Can we talk about the cons of throwing up in the bathtub. there are no pros.
plan parent hood is for high school, im at the abortion clinic, so college.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we've had sex 4 times and he still refers to me as 'the chick in my chem class'
If i theoretically had to put an iv back in what do I need to do?
Totally sleeping on a bloodstained mattress tonight. I love life's little adventures.
We fucked then made friendship bracelets, his mother taught him right!
I mean, that's eating your cake and fucking it too.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like a pet sloth would complement my lifestyle.
Balls deep in an Orange is the New Black marathon. Bring food and drugs.
idk about you, but when i sext i just hit em with the "yo lets bang" text
When you trip so hard that you can see your friends thoughts through their pupils.
Would you by any chance know if there is a proper protocol for traveling with one's vibrator? I wouldn't want the TSA to rip open my suitcase in front of my boss.
You lost to your mom AND grandma in beer pong last night. pretty sure that constitutes a retirement from the sport
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