you called to congratulate me on being the reason you lost never have i ever
So I missed her say 'don't' before 'come in me'. She felt what was happening and freaked - which actually made the moment 100x better.
What a good family we'd make, him and I and our kids and his good dick.
I just realized I have yet to puke in your new apartment. Clearly we're doing something wrong. On my way over with Cuervo as I type.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
well what is some mechanical horse racing with out blow involved
ive cried into many a lonely burritos..
Seriously? You DON'T remember putting all those Swedish fish in the waffle iron b/c you wanted "One big Swedish fish?" That waffle iron was a wedding gift.
A little boy in a bathroom stall just shouted "mom where's your penis?? Is it inside you?"
So I am watching ghostbusters and I realized Rick moranis is basically in the friends zone than he turns into the key master bangs her and it leads to the end of the world...maybe there is a reason people are in the friend zone
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just want to let you know thanks for setting the bar pretty low when it comes to girls.
Saw 2 lesbians fist fighting outside the bar tonight. I was startled yet slightly turned on
If you saw or spoke to me yesterday can you message me. Trying to make a timeline of the day I was too drunk to remember
I was in the rappers prayer circle. Then they're blunt circle
This is either going to be a hilarious catfish or the fuck trophy of the century.
So...I'm pretty sure I have officially determined that reverse cowgirl is the only position possible to have sex in my smart four two
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