I think tonya harding is in my dwi class!
Ask her how she and Jeff Gillooly split the cats after the divorce.
Her name starts with A and ends with whore.
we turned dreidel into a drinking game. i kept landing on gimel. im glad we have 7 more nights of this
College is just filling the gap until I get a rich girl pregnant
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Seriously. You just grinded your ass all over the heisman trophy's dick. I want you to think about that.
that's what penises do
they tell lies.
She alternated between blowing me and feeding me bites of the sandwich she made for me.
He wants to buy me a drink to apologize for sending me a pic of his dick. Welcome to my life.
Novelty of the week: Getting my lipstick back in an evidence bag
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Also, being stuck with my family all week has made it very clear that I need to be drunk and I need to be fucked pronto
She text me that night and asked how the dick was and I quote my drunk self "average at best"
I just said "I love my cat" as a hobby.
The free coupon that printed out with the purchase of my plan b emergency contraception was for allergy meds. I feel like a coupon for condoms would've been more fitting in this situation.
Oh wait. It's for wart remover. Fitting, afterall.
at what point last night did i get this tattoo of an anchor made of dicks?
around eleven
So I have three weeks to get rid of his girlfriend and fuck him senseless before he goes to jail
Randomize