I'm too scared of my Fleshlight to even use it anyway.
So guy #2, the dancer, is programmed into my phone under the name H.uy. His number- 11 digits. I should have stopped drinking.
I just heard a guy scream "it must be five o' clock!!" and another guy screamed "somewhere!!!" out from different balconies.
I want you to tape your fingers together and give me a lobster claw hand job.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He just did blow off my nipples. He's not serious about his girlfriend.
Bath mats should not be used at mops. they don't work. consider this a drunk psa
Some guy just yelled at me from his car "CLIIIIIIIIIITT"... I feel like this has something to do with last night....
I caught myself caressing my own hand while nurturing a glass of bourbon. I think it's time to get back out there.
who knew rolling through the dorm on a scooter in footie pajamas would attract so many guys. he said i'm his soulmate.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I love you as a roommate, but you GOTTA start using the door dude..
My sinuses still burn from snorting red wine last night.
Took the ex out to the bar, then left with her and her best friend....and you said this was a bad thing.
I'm having to shit out rocks
She is beauty she is grace
she’s masturbsting in front of an open window while drunk af 9am
i thought you had class
I don't wanna be 33 that's when Jesus died
Randomize