Well all I remember is going to sleep being big spoon to you and waking up being little spoon to *****
I had to put my glasses on last night to watch porn. SO getting lasik with my tax returns this year.
Sitting on the floor in my kitchen eating taquitos. Being this drunk the next day has lost its allure post graduation.
the liquor store owner came out from behind the counter and kissed my cheek when he saw that i am back for fall semester
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Once he past out I measured his penis with my remote.
Oh my God. He stopped counting at 22.. His senior year. I feel the STDs infecting my taint as we speak.
Puking on the side of the road and legitimately just got a head nod and thumbs up from an 80 year old man on a Segway... What the fuck?
You kept trying to get the girl i brought home to hook up with you by enticing her with 12 baconnators you brought home
you know you're a stoner girl when you get a callus from your grinder
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You came out of your room naked under your open robe with a mouth full of brownie on a stick and grabbed a fistful of fruit loops and shoved them into your already full mouth.
Sorry I pissed in your closet and lied to your parents that it was probably a flood. He got up to go to the bathroom, expecting sex when he got back, I panicked
You know you're an upperclassmen when you go to a party with no makeup, wet hair, weed socks, and no shoes, take a shot ski, then leave
Rolled over in bed this morning and found Nutella and wet naps. Why can't it ever be a fire fighter, or Jude Law.
I just noticed, at some point last night I got on iTunes and purchased over 100 classical piano songs.
Blueberry probiotics greatly increase to the masturbation experience. Try it dude. It’s all the rage
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