im drinking this country out of the recession.
I told her Billy Mays couldn't convince me to sleep with her
so i hit rock bottom, god threw me a shovel. i continued to dig.
Its that time of week again, Bad life decision wednesday
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
please come home... she's showing me videos of spanish parrots and is telling me about her dead cousin...
When hitting a Woodchuck bottle with a machete, glass will fly back and cut your face.
I hope you did not try this.
From the guy that lifted you into a fan I'm sorry
I take back all the times I've said life was unfair. I'm about to have two trained bartenders for a girlfriend and roommate
You are right. The scrape marks on her ass are from her breaking the doggy door by crawling through it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm tired and starving, and I'm pretty sure I just cost the company 33,000 dollars...fuck you and you're "you'll love going to work high" nonsense.
"I'm gonna wax that ass" was the successful pick up line used on me last night. Clearly I had a few too many cause it worked..
I think it's gonna be hard to find a guy that won't take my consistent drinking as alcoholism
Every time you mention the threesome around him I will high five you. Do what you will with this information.
i woke up in just my thong, face first on my bed with all the lights on. how hungover do you think i felt?
i looked at my texts in the morning and saw that i had a full conversation with myself via text thinking it was someone else. i rejected myself
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