the smoke from my cigarette strangely resembles what patrick swayzes ghost will look like.
I plan on using my big titties for evil tonight.
My Yahoo Answers account was suspended. Apparently I answered "I like chicks who do anal" to over 100 questions last night.
So dude, she and I just got done having the most amazing sex, and then she rolled over and said that "lets make some tacos" and proceeded to the kitchen... naked... I'm buying the ring tomorrow
Even the French judge on the olympics would give that a 10
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
stayed up to watch the sunrise..saw an albino taking shots on the quad..it's like there's a whole new world of people out there just waiting to meet us
i can barely afford taco bell don't think a baby is in the budget
i keep seeing random pieces of my outfit all around town.
He literally stopped in the middle of sex to look up sex positions on his iPhone...
I'm out of mixers so I am using sugar water. Times are tough.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i mean, i offered you kinky, jungle themed sex. i don't know what else you want from me
Literally lying on a futon being hand fed bacon
Fuck you.
What does puking wasabi feel like?
Like snorting cocaine backwards.
Excuse me, but I got friendzoned and all I could think about was the fact that I didn't have my underwear back on yet.
btw, whatever u do, dont try and take that towel away from her..i tried, it got ugly..she said some things im sure she regrets.
I'm shopping for Mother's Day cards while waiting for my herpes medication. What is life.
Randomize